i.m. Jeffry

8 years ago today my brilliant and kind nephew Jeffry took his own life. To me and many this came totally unexpected: he had worked for the Dutch government in Kiev and Tokyo and was what one may call a health freak. But: deeply insomnolent (take caution there reader, if you suffer from the same!). In just about the same time the younger brother of study friend Nathan did the same. Nathan, being Nathan, wrote a well-received book about the fact that in the Netherlands so many men (more than women) commit suicide. By extension of the book he goes around the country to deliver a profound message around masculinity, in panels and workshops. Such a sweet and kind and constructive way to cope with it.

In the immediate years after, my family came together during Jeffry’s birthday and I kept on going, in search of something of an answer. Some years later I realized that the answer is less important than me honouring his life and presence in different ways. He had so much wit, irony and on the spot observations on life in general and the strange life in Amsterdam, and how to relate to family and friends. I miss him deeply and would have loved to have him over in my new life in Belgium – pretty sure that the museum-rich Bruges would fit him like a glove. But today I am honouring him in my own way, his presence is still deeply felt.